Finding
Motherhood
Hard?
YOU ARE
NOT ALONE
Tired of Feeling Like You’re Not Enough?
If you feel like no matter how hard you try, it's never good enough, you're not alone.
Modern motherhood sets us up to fail. We are told to be present for our children. And make time for our careers. To bounce back into our pre baby bodies. All while healing from birth and becoming someone we don't recognise. To be selfless while taking time for self care.
It feels impossible because it is.
And yet we blame ourselves. After all, we’ve been conditioned from an early age to be ‘good girls’ and we often take that drive and perfectionism into our parenting.
But you can change the script.
This workshop series helps you to identify where some of the ‘shoulds’ are coming from. To uncover your own voice and values as a mother. To begin to trust that you are good enough.
Because when you stop striving to be a ‘better’ mum, the irony is that change becomes possible.
It’s Time To Feel
Good Enough
With insightful content and group support, you've found a safe place to explore the 'shoulds' in your motherhood and decide which ones you want to keep or let go of.
INTRODUCING...
THE 'SHOULDS'
WORKSHOP SERIES
CONNECT WITH WHAT MATTERS MOST.
When we are caught up in the day to day of parenting, we don’t stop to reflect on why it feels so hard. We get caught in a vicious cycle of beating ourselves up and simply don’t have capacity to change anything.
With insights from both sociology and psychology, these workshops will help you:
- Understand why modern motherhood is so challenging
- Imagine what ‘good enough’ would look like for you
- Soften your expectations and release some of the pressure to get it right
You will leave feeling seen and heard, with simple ways to improve your experience of motherhood.
1. PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT
I should be the kind of mum I thought I would be. Why do I always feel like I'm getting it wrong?
This workshop explores the pressure for mums to be perfect in our society. We look at why 'good enough' parenting is actually more healthy for us and our children.
We examine expectations vs. reality of mum life. Finding ways to reframe mum guilt so that it serves you rather than keeping you stuck and unable to change.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Role model 'good enough' rather than perfect for your children
- Get out of the negative spiral of perfectionism, self criticism and burnout
- Reduce mum guilt and anxiety about getting it wrong
- Identify what is truly important to you and your family
2. COPING WITH MIXED FEELINGS
I should be happy / loving / grateful all the time, but I am not. Sometimes I hate this and how I react.
This workshop looks at Maternal Ambivalence and helps normalise some of the complex conflicting emotions you can have as a mum.
We will touch upon how emotions act as signposts (e.g. anger can indicate unmet needs). Exploring simple methods to ground ourselves and regulate our emotions.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Recognise that conflicting emotions are normal in motherhood
- Develop ways to regulate your emotional reactions when you feel overwhelmed
- Repair with your child (and yourself) when you react and want to start over
- Reframe 'negative' emotions as information about things we might want to change
3. MANAGING THE MOTHER LOAD
I should be able to handle everything and stay calm, but I feel overwhelmed.
This workshop helps you to recognise all of the things you carry as a mum and gently reflect on what you can do to lighten the load.
We will unpick the burden of emotional labour. Revealing what is truly important for ourselves and our families, as we head into the Christmas holiday season.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Make the invisible work visible (and therefore valuable)
- Reduce your feelings of overwhelm
- Set boundaries around what you can / can't do
- Notice what drains vs. sustains your energy
4. LOSING / FINDING YOUR IDENTITY
This should come naturally. Why am I struggling to cope with being a mum?
This workshop considers Matrescence - the idea that motherhood is a process which requires us to evolve and integrate huge shifts in identity.
We will reflect on the physical - emotional - social - cultural - changes that come with being a mum. Honouring the tension between celebrating what we've gained and grieving for what we've lost.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Discover matrescence: reframe mothering as a process that is not innate or instinctual
- Understand why motherhood often brings a sense of identity loss
- Explore ways to accept, honour, grieve and celebrate aspects of your identity as a mother
I'M ALI.
I am mum to Clem, who, since she arrived 10 years ago, has been the single biggest force for change in my life.
I am a psychotherapist and mindfulness coach. I help other mums navigate their own way through the unforgiving territory of modern motherhood that often leaves them feeling unseen and inadequate.
Join me on a journey of self-compassion, where we can begin to see that we are truly 'good enough' mothers.
"Ali has a way of making you feel so understood! I came away feeling like a weight had been lifted."
Amy
"The workshop was so helpful. It made me realise I'm not alone in feeling this way and it helped me to understand the changes I've gone through since having my baby."
Mel
ARE THESE WORKSHOPS
RIGHT FOR YOU?
Have you ever felt like there must be something wrong with you? That you must be the only one finding motherhood so bloody hard?
All around you are images of enriching educational play activities, wholesome packed lunches with sandwiches cut into dinosaur shapes, ‘mumpreneurs’ with a six figure side hustle, family photoshoots in stunning rural locations, immaculate homes with stylish storage solutions, interviews with celebrities saying they ‘found themselves’ through motherhood, endless scripts for how to respond to your child instead of - losing - your - shit - every - single - time.
The highlight reel of perfect motherhood is completely unrealistic and unsustainable.
So the simple answer is ‘no, of course you are not the only one’ - there are countless other mothers I have supported who feel the pressure to live up to a certain image of how a mother should be. And it’s slowly eroding their sense of self worth.
But I also know that it is very hard to just put down the idea that ‘it must be me that’s defective in some way’. So these workshops are my invitation to begin to understand what’s driving some of this thinking. To challenge it. To decide to do things differently.
Let’s be imperfect together.
