It’s Time To Ditch the 'Shoulds'
INTRODUCING THE...
MINDFUL MATRESCENCE
WORKSHOP SERIES
When we are caught up in the day to day of parenting, we don’t stop to reflect on why it feels so hard. We try and live up to the 'Perfect Mother Myth' and simply don’t have capacity to change anything.
With insights from both sociology and psychology, these workshops will help you:
- Understand why modern motherhood is so challenging
- Define what ‘good enough’ would look like for you
- Soften your expectations and release the pressure to get it right
- Develop tools and strategies to make a difference in your everyday life
This series of recordings includes snippets of group discussion from the live session and self-reflection exercises for you to complete. You gain both insight into why you might be struggling, and some simple ways to improve your experience of motherhood.
1. PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT
I should be the kind of parent I thought I would be. Why do I always feel like I'm getting it wrong?
This workshop explores the pressure for mothers / parents to be perfect in our society. We look at why 'good enough' parenting is actually more healthy for us and our children.
We examine expectations vs. reality of life with children. Finding ways to reframe 'mum guilt' so that it serves you rather than keeping you stuck and unable to change.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Role model 'good enough' rather than perfect for your children
- Exit a negative spiral of perfectionism, self criticism and burnout
- Reduce 'mum guilt' and anxiety about getting it wrong
- Identify what is truly important to you and your family
2. COPING WITH MIXED FEELINGS
I should be happy / loving / grateful all the time, but I am not. Sometimes I hate this and how I react.
This workshop looks at Maternal Ambivalence and helps normalise some of the complex conflicting emotions you can have as a mother / parent.
We explore how emotions act as signposts (e.g. anger can indicate unmet needs). Developing simple methods to ground ourselves and regulate our emotions.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Recognise that conflicting emotions are normal
- Develop skills in regulating your emotional reactions
- Repair with your child (and yourself) when you react and want to start over
- Reframe 'negative' emotions as information about things we might want to change
3. MANAGING THE MOTHER LOAD
I should be able to handle everything and stay calm, but I feel overwhelmed.
This workshop helps you to recognise all of the things you carry as a mother / parent and gently reflect on what you can do to lighten the load.
We will unpick the burden of emotional labour. Revealing what is truly important for ourselves and our families, rather than what we think we should be able to handle.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Make the invisible work visible (and therefore valuable)
- Reduce your feelings of overwhelm
- Set boundaries around what you can / can't do
- Notice what drains vs. sustains your energy
4. LOSING / FINDING YOUR IDENTITY
This should come naturally. Why am I struggling to cope with motherhood?
This workshop considers Matrescence - the idea that motherhood is a process which requires us to evolve and integrate huge shifts in identity.
We will reflect on the physical - emotional - social - cultural - changes that come with having a child. Honouring the tension between celebrating what is gained and grieving for what is lost.
This workshop will enable you to:
- Reframe mothering as a process that is not innate or instinctual
- Understand why you may feel lost in motherhood
- Explore ways to integrate old and new aspects of your identity
I'M ALI.
I am mum to Clem, who, since she arrived 11 years ago, has been the single biggest force for change in my life.
I am a Psychotherapist and Coach with a background in birth education. I help other mothers / parents navigate their own way through the unforgiving territory of modern parenting that often leaves them feeling unseen and inadequate.
Join me on a journey of self-compassion, where we can begin to see that we are truly 'good enough' already.
"Ali has a way of making you feel so understood! I came away feeling like a weight had been lifted."
Amy
"The workshop was so helpful. It made me realise I'm not alone in feeling this way and it helped me to understand the changes I've gone through since having my baby."
Mel
DOES THIS RESONATE WITH YOU?
Have you ever felt like there must be something wrong with you? That you must be the only one finding everything so hard?
All around you are images of enriching educational play activities, wholesome packed lunches with sandwiches cut into dinosaur shapes, parents who continue to climb the career ladder, ‘mumpreneurs’ with a six figure side hustle, family photoshoots in stunning rural locations, immaculate homes with stylish storage solutions, interviews with celebrities saying they ‘found themselves’ through motherhood, endless scripts for how to respond to your child instead of - losing - your - sh*t - every - single - time.
The highlight reel of perfect lives is completely unrealistic and unsustainable.
So the simple answer is ‘no, of course you are not the only one’ - there are countless other mothers / parents I have supported who feel the pressure to live up to a certain image of how they should be. And it’s slowly eroding their sense of self worth.
But I also know that it is very hard to just put down the idea that ‘it must be me that’s defective in some way’. So these workshops are my invitation to begin to understand what’s driving some of this thinking. To challenge it. To decide to do things differently.
Let’s be imperfect together.
